For the Woman I Was, the Mother I’m Becoming, and the Daughter I’m Raising

I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for a while now. And like many things in my life, I’ve probably spent more time thinking about it than actually doing it 😂

For years, I’ve had the privilege of sitting with people as a therapist, hearing their stories, witnessing their growth, and reminding them that change is possible. But somewhere along the way, I realized I needed a space to reflect on my own becoming, too.

Not as a therapist with all the answers, but simply as a human being who’s still learning, unlearning, growing, and occasionally wondering what the helly she’s doing.

There are so many things I wish I could tell my younger self. Things about love, relationships, family, boundaries, identity, and what it really means to live a meaningful life.

And now that I’m a mother, I find myself thinking about those lessons a little differently.

I think about the world my daughter will grow up in. The challenges she’ll face. The questions she’ll ask. The many versions of herself she’ll become.

And I wonder what I would want her to know.

I hope that one day, when she’s older, she’ll come across these words and discover that her mom was far from perfect.

That before I became her mom, I was a whole person with a life of my own. I had dreams, made mistakes, experienced heartbreak, celebrated victories, and navigated my own growing pains.

And that even after becoming her mom, I was still figuring things out.

Because while I’m raising her, I’m also learning how to raise myself.

Motherhood has a way of bringing us face-to-face with parts of ourselves we didn’t even know needed attention. Sometimes, it’s the beautiful parts: our capacity for love, patience, and resilience. Other times, it’s the uncomfortable parts: old wounds, fears, insecurities, and patterns we unknowingly carry from our own childhoods.

As I learn to nurture my daughter, I’m also learning to nurture the younger versions of myself who may not have always received what they needed.

And perhaps one of the greatest gifts I can give her is taking responsibility for my own healing, rather than expecting her to carry what was never hers to begin with.

I won’t always get everything right. There will be moments when I fall short, when I need to apologize, and when I have to remind myself to practice the very things I’ve spent years teaching others.

But I hope she’ll see that growth doesn’t end when we become adults. That love isn’t about being perfect. Sometimes, it’s about being willing to reflect, repair, and keep trying.

In many ways, that’s what I hope this little corner of the internet becomes.

A creative outlet where I can document the lessons I’m learning, the beliefs I’m questioning, and the person I’m continuing to become.

I’ll write about motherhood, mental health, intergenerational patterns, cultural identity, relationships, and the things I wish my younger self had known.

Some reflections will be informed by my experience as a therapist. Others will simply come from being human.

I don’t expect to have all the answers. And I certainly don’t want this to become another place where I feel pressured to be productive or perfect. (As the only daughter and middle child of immigrant parents, I have enough of those places already😂)

I just want to write, reflect, and leave behind little pieces of what I’m learning along the way.

Maybe one day my daughter will read these words and understand me a little better. Maybe she’ll find something that helps her navigate her own journey.

And if these reflections happen to help someone else feel a little less alone, that would be a pretty wonderful bonus.

So here’s to beginning before everything feels perfectly figured out.

To the woman I was, the mother I’m becoming, and the daughter I’m raising: may we all have the freedom to grow into who we’re meant to be.

Welcome to my little corner of the internet. I’m glad you’re here.

With warmth,

Thao